29 MADISON IVY
Itching to Try
Photography by Holly Randall Productions
47 CAPRI ANDERSON & TOASTBOY
Photography by Matti Klatt
64 COURTNEY PAGE
Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy
Photography by Ladi von Jansky
76 EMMA MAE
No, Emma Will
Photography by Mark Lit
107 BREE MORGAN
Not That Innocent
Photography by Jose Luis
123 THIS AIN'T TWO AND A HALF MEN XXX
Spoofing a TV sitcom with Charlie Sheen as a womanizer was a no-brainer.
Photography courtesy HUSTLER Video
Classic Photography by Clive McLean FEATURES
38 THE MISADVENTURES OF CHARLIE SHEEN
Actor's mishaps, sexploits and all-around fuckups amusedly revisited
Article by Michael McClay
42 TWO AND A HALF GRAMS
A Charlie Sheen send-up too outlandish for any TV network
Cartoon Parody by Noel Anderson
56 BUNNYRANCH CONTEST WINNER: KING FOR A DAY!
One lucky reader has the timt of his life at our fave bordello
Report by Anthony Petkovich
60 A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
The lowdown on Vermonters clamoring for the unthinkable—secession!
Article by Christopher Ketcham
72 CARROT TOP: GIVE HIM PROPS
The outrageous comic talks about his ascent, plastic surgery, steroids and our
kind of dad
Interview by Keith Valcourt
74 UFOs? HERE AND MAYBE IN YOUR GARDEN!
Author Leslie Kean amasses a bevy of extremely credible eyewitness testimony
Book Review by Harry Walsh
90 A DAY IN THE LIFE OF Aurora Snow
Meet an A-list porn star with amazing family values.
Article by Holly Randall STANDARDS
3 SEX PARODY Tangle
7 PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT A warning for Barack Obama
by Larry Flynt
9 TECH KNOW
Win a Sound Blaster speaker!
10 GAME ON Four new must-play titles
.11 ROBERT SCHEER Peace President? Not yet!
13 NAT HENTOFF George W. Bush now admits a war crime?
15 ALEX BENNETT It's fuckin' serious, everybody...but I don't want to panic you
17 MAMIE VAN DOREN The big studios remembered
19 FEEDBACK Readers' message board
20 POLITICAL PARODY Join the Tea Party
21 ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH Sen. John McCain
23 BITS & PIECES Carmen Electra's visit, Adultcon babes, mouth-stuffed Meghan
McCain & more!
28 HOT LETTERS How to butt-fuck a GOP cutie
37 CLASSIC CARTOONS Healthy sickos from the past
88 HUSTLER HUMOR You'll soon be dead from laughter, so call a mortician!
94 SIGHTS & SOUNDS Guitar hero Zakk Wylde discusses his...sex change?!
98 FAMOUS FLESH Angelique Morgan's rack
99 MOVIE MAMMARIES Shower scenes that'll drain ya!
by Sandra Chang
102 COUGARS UNLEASHED One-won't-cut-it Calliste
103 GIRLS OF FACEBOOK Romantic adventuress Jessica
104 COLLEGE REPORT Falling in line
105 REAL COLLEGE GIRLS Carolina bookworm Angelique
116 EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT Loads of XXX showbiz parodies
134 BEAVER HUNT April Fool's snatch