Sold Out
2 GOT IT MAID
Serve up some hot sex.
12 UNCENSORED LETTERS
Our readers get raunchy.
14 POVERTY SUCKS
Muriel wants no respect.
20 SEX AT THE SPA
Exercise your love muscle.
22 WHAT A HAUL
Crime does pay.
30 MISS NUDE ILLINOIS LIVE!
Fom Peoria.
36 SELF-MADE SEXPOT
Sylvie says sleaze.
42 MAKE YOUR OWN PORN
Turn fantasies into flicks.
44 PRICELESS PUSSY
Jerks hard for the money.
52 RICH CHICKS
How to cash in.
58 STORMY LEATHER
Power-hungry goon.
6 VIDEO SCENE
Shoot for the stars.
68 A TOUCH OF SASS
Rich girls need cock too.
79 EXECUTIVE SUITE
Schtup the ladder of success.
88 PHOTO COMIX
Christy Canyon creams.
94 TOTALLY RICH BITCHIN'
A val gal's dirty dream.
EDITORIAL NOTE
MEMBERS ONLY
BEG, BORROW, OR STEAL. PRINT IT UP IN YOUR BASEMENT. IF all else fails, work for
it. But get it. Got it?
No? You don't know what we're talking about? Here it is, in a word: money. Or,
if you prefer, cash, dough, bucks, moolah, the green stuff. Somebody once said
that money can't buy happiness. Geeze, what a colossal schmuck he was! Thank God
that asshole's dead. You think he was happy being poor? Fuck no! He was so miserable,
he coined that little phrase so everyone else would remain in equally dire straits
financially, and he'd get some closet kicks out of it. Either that, or he had
the kind of bliss that comes only from a badly botched lobotomy.
If you don't believe us when we tell you money is everything (you wouldn't if
you saw our piffling paychecks, but we're in it for love and the perks that come
with the porno biz, like complimentary sex toys and free passes to fuck flicks
for the staff), take it from the filthy rich girls we've assembled for you in
this issue. They all look different. They all have a diverse number of sexual
preferences. These rich women have but one thing in common—a deep commitment
and passionate love affair with the almighty dollar.
To paraphrase that Cuban killer in Scarface, "First you get the money, then
you get the power. When you get the power, then you get the girls." So unless
your pole is solid gold, unless you've got a wad of cash to match your wad of
cum, you can forget about screwing any of these chicks, no matter how hot and
horny they undoubtedly are. Spill your spunk all over our pages as often as you
wish, you sickening, low-income slobs.
The only other option open to you is to use your imagination. In other words,
con them. Lie through your teeth! If you can't bowl them over with your billions,
impress them with your bullshit. Just because they chicks are sharp when it comes
to accounting doesn't make them totally inaccessible. Lure them to your mattress
and let them feel that huge lump you've got stored underneath. Tell them it's
cash, bonds, stocks—just don't let on it's your treasured stack of LIVE!
magazines.
If you're real good at acting rich, you'll be able to convince the creamy cutie
of your choice. Maybe even twice! Look at us; we're poor. Embarrassingly so. But
we know . how to dish out the drivel, and so we've scored with every broad in
the book! Really. Honestly. Would we lie to you?
THE EDITORS
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